Affirmations for Hard Things (And What Dragons Have to Do With It)
“Here be dragons,” I repeat to myself as I head into the medical clinic. Here be dragons. This phrase is one of my favorite affirmations when I venture into any situation I dread—such as a medical procedure, or giving a speech in a room full of strangers.
What Are Affirmations and How Can They Help?
Affirmations are short statements we can repeat to ourselves as a means of self-encouragement. As a popular self-help technique, positive affirmations can help us feel more grounded, boost resilience or optimism, or bolster motivation when we’re working towards a goal.
The Key is Choosing Affirmations That Suit You
In my experience, affirmations can be very helpful—with a caveat. It’s important to find the affirmations that speak to you, that support you in the direction you want to go but also make sense to you, and feel authentic from your own point of view.
I’ve learned that for myself, affirmations that seem unrealistically positive just don’t appeal. “I radiate positivity and optimism,” which I saw in a book years ago, felt fake, even invalidating. I tried repeating it and journaling it, but ended up getting annoyed.
So, What’s With the Dragons?
Quick history: the phrase here be dragons was sometimes written on maps centuries ago, designating unknown waters and lands. Mapmakers often drew elaborate monsters in the uncharted blank spaces, filling them with ship-chomping sea serpents and the like. These old beastie drawings are wildly imaginative and fearsome, but to modern eyes, often hilarious.
The phrase here be dragons entertains me and feels strangely reassuring. It kind of validates my right to feel anxiety towards whatever uncharted waters I’m about to brave. At the same time, it adds in a pinch of humor, maybe even a hint of possible adventure or discovery as I sail myself through. (Who knows? The dragons might turn out to be friendly, or at least not hungry today.)
Okay, dragons might not be your thing. Totally fine. But here are more ideas about finding and using affirmations that are right for you:
1. Try “Both-And” Affirmations
These are affirmations that acknowledge the difficult feeling or situation you are having (“this is really hard” or “I am really upset”) alongside a message of encouragement (“I will be patient with myself / take it easy / I can get through”). Use your own words in a way that feels genuine to you.
2. Use Affirmations for Self-Compassion
Focus on the acceptance of imperfection. A great example comes from Kristen Neff, author of Self-Compassion: “May I be kind to myself as I am.”
3. Go on an Affirmation Quest
Choose a quality you’d like to affirm for yourself—it could be hope, perseverance, self-acceptance, or joy. Look up what others have to say about it, like deep thinkers, authors, or poets. Make a list of the quotes and phrases that feel most helpful to your specific situation.
How to Work With Your New Affirmation
Besides repeating the affirmation, you can remind yourself of it by:
Putting it up on Post-it notes in places you’ll see regularly.
Setting it as your phone or computer screen saver.
Journaling about the affirmation. Write it down and then journal about, “What does this mean to me?” or write about how it could apply to your current situation.
Creating artwork or collages, adding colors and images that come to mind as you think about the affirmation.
In these ways, you can reinforce and enhance the message you want to give to yourself. Extra credit for the use of dragons!
Navigating the unknown "dragons" of life can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to map the journey alone. If you are looking for support with anxiety, trauma, or life transitions, reach out today to schedule a therapy session with Julia Baker.
